I'm currently trapped in an ongoing repetition of urine in my day to day life. I'm not talking about me peeing on a daily basis. I'm talking about urine reappearing constantly for the last week. It's more than coincidence at this point, it's like I'm surrounded by piss.
Last friday:
In a class designed to introduce my department's profs. to new majors, I learned that the diet in Iceland was so restricted that Vikings had to perfect eating a certain shark. Sharks have no liver, so the meat literally marinates in shark piss its entire existence. To get around this, Vikings buried the shark meat for several months, allowing it to decay into a gelatinous substance. This got rid of the uric acid, but also meant that they lived off rotting shark tissue. Side note: this is still eaten today, you drink it with a "disgusting liquor whose name translated into english is 'the black death'"
wednesday:
I agree to help a friend, call him Anonymous Stranger, get out of a potential drug screening. AS and I both look into urine test supplies, including the science of urine, it's typical composition. I already knew about uric acid.
I also attend a meeting of the UW's parli team and end up judging a practice debate. This debate features three relations disads, the most common verb to describe the link being "piss off X." christi lectures them on their rhetorical focus on piss calling it unappealing. She informs us that urophilia is a preoccupation with urine.
Thursday:
Using my day off and proximity to a large head shop I go for some anti-drug test supplies. The result of this trip is a bottle of fake urine, which one microwaves, rubberbands a thermal heating pack to, hides in their pants, whips out in the bathroom and empties into the cup. On the trip I learned that only when being tested for parole is one watched when peeing. These supplies are legal under the auspices of "keeping your medical history private" and can also hide: pregnancy, tobacco and diabetes.
I also learned that you can eliminate fat content from your urine by not eating the day of the test and drinking about two gallons of water. You can darken your urine by taking vitamin B-12. Finally, fruit pectin temporarily seals up fat cells and blocks the release of chemicals into the urine.
I take the bus to my friend's house. behind the dumpster next to the bus stop, a drunk man is peeing facing me.
That night I wound up facebook chatting with a girl I sort of dated in high school, with whom I haven't spoken substantively in years. her first question: "what did you do today?" my response: "well...I...." then explain the above story, her response several minutes later: "I guess you were always doing weird stuff like that"
Friday:
my friend is not tested. He does, however, experience some burning sensation from the presence of 2 ounces of 100 degree fake urine strapped to his 'taint. the result being "next time, I need better insulation."
In the same intro to the profs class, I endure a 20 minute discussion about D&G and urine and bodily flows.
I finish season five and start season six of Trailer Park Boys. A recurring gag is the presence of massive quantities of piss jugs, gallon jugs filled with piss courtesy of a main character. Each episode so far has had a character throw a jug into the air letting it explode disgustingly on the ground. I believe there to be around 60 gallons of piss shown at this point.
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