Break time!

As much as I despise long lists of stupid one-liners that get forwarded around, I have thought all of these things at some point in my life:
-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
- 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook are people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with
- How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
- A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.
-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
-Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
-Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.