Snaaaail

Cali

My parents have a new cat named Cali (because it's a cali-co, get it??). They had three cats, but the other two have simply run away, most likely because Cali has chased them off the face of the Earth, or more likely, eaten them alive. Cali is a ruthless assassin of all living things on or around my parents' 5 acre forest plot. Birds, rabbits, rodents, fish. This cat is completely fearless, and takes to leaping from rafter to rafter in our open living-room. She is the only cat that could get along well with the dog. The other cats had an uneasy territorial agreement with the dog, but Cali could climb up on the dog's back and ride her around the kitchen. She follows my parents a quarter-mile to the mailbox and back and responds to commands better than the dog. One weird thing about the cat - she's extremely affectionate. And by that, I mean that this cat wants nothing more than to make out with me. Typically, she's pretty independent, but if I lay down with her and pet her long enough, she becomes incredibly focused on getting to my face and licking my lips or occasionally nostrils for long periods of time, often leading up to painful bites. I can't get her away, she just wants to get her mack on in a big way. It becomes scary. She presents her ass to smell and when I don't smell it, she becomes upset, but this frustration just channels into her lust for my wet and typically trembling lips. If I don't get out of here soon, I'm afraid of how far I might take it with her. Nothing disgusting, but it's hard with such an aggressive cat to avoid the instinct to take it up a notch, just to see how she responds. I'm worried about getting bitten. My God...I think I just have to go for it. I'll report back.

Weird.

That shit is awesome and I want to know more. Someone who isn't lazy should start a blog from Rachel's point of view that involves all of the same dialogue verbatim but contextualizes it all in terms of what she was thinking or how she was feeling. That bitch.

Also, the forum is funny.
Check out this thread that turns into internet terrorists calling a girl a meth-head.

because I don't want to sleep on the fucking couch!

http://officeofstrategicinfluence.com/rachael/

THIS PIG IS AFRAID OF MUD!

Look at this fucking pig!

Dirty Filthy Pornography

This cartoon is called Eveready Harton and was made in 1929. It is considered the first cartoon pornography. It is absolutely revolting, so don't watch it if you're a pussy.

no homo

Shoop Da Whoop!
Refesh this link and it will give you something different. Give it a whirl.

And Let's Paint, Exercise, and Blend Drinks!