trust yourself

I'm thinking about

buying a gun.

thoughts?

mo-mo-mo-mo-monster kill

200 birds sucked into jet engine. rally.
























Also, 2005 called and wants its never-was meme back. This is a good one though, cuz I don't think it's photoshopped. It took me a while to figure it out.

I think I may have possibly smoked some catnip.

I was just reading some theologian douchebag talking about how we shouldn't try to understand God when Mr. Lif said "don't try to understand God's most mysterious ways."

It's a sign.

dog sled pix

cool

this is some cool shit

letters between famous people

this is some cool shit

Roomba Art

mrow!

wheee

Kids are dumb

Some website concerned with making sure parents know what their kids are googling reports that the 2nd most popular search term that kids type into the google search bar is "google." Stupid kids. You're already at google! If you're wondering, "sex" is 4, "Michael Jackson" is 8, and I'm aroused.

confession time

Hobbit 419

Dear MR BAGGINS, Fellow Conspirator,

I am Thorin Oakenshield, descendant of Thrain the Old and grandson of Thror who was King under the Mountain. I am writing you to discuss our plans, our ways, means, policy and devices for rescuing our treasure from the dragon Smaug.

During the reign of Thror our kingdom was a prosperous one. Kings used to send for our smiths, and reward even the least skillful most richly. Fathers would beg us to take their sons as apprentices, and pay us handsomely, especially in food-supplies, which we never bothered to grow or find for ourselves. Altogether those were good days for us, and the poorest of us had money to spend and to lend, and leisure to make beautiful things just for the fun of it, not to speak of the most marvellous and magical toys, the like of which is not to be found in the world now-a-days.

Undoubtedly that was what brought the dragon. Dragons steal gold and jewels from men and elves and dwarves, wherever they can find them; and they guard their plunder as long as they live (which is practically for ever, unless they are killed), and never enjoy a brass ring of it. There was a most specially greedy, strong and wicked worm called Smaug. One day he flew up into the air and came south. The dragon settled on our mountain in a spout of flame and routed out all the halls, and lanes, and tunnels, alleys, cellars, mansions and passages. After there were no dwarves left alive inside the mountain he took all their wealth for himself.

In view of this, I received your contact through a friend and counselor, an ingenious wizard, who noted you as a Burglar who wants a good job, plenty of Excitement and reasonable Reward. And I and my twelve companions have agreed to give you 10% of the total gold and jewels that the dragon Smaug now rests upon if you can join us on our long journey. When you have agreed please tell us the place where you dwell and send one hundred pence so that we might travel to you.

Please hold what I have told you in strict confidence and I look forward to your earliest response.

THORIN OAKENSHIELD

FROM: http://granades.com/2009/09/24/hobbit-419/

moar

funny pics

Ukranian Sand-Smearing Cumdrippers.

If sand art and ghey music isn't your thing, skip to 4:50 when she starts drawing the obscene creampie that makes everyone start crying.

also

apparently fashion magazines have stopped dancing around the issue.

Horses

(I would have titled this: "YES!" or "I have loved this" but I wanted to be like chalf and ad hack)
horses, stallions, bodypaint, anthropomorphism, horse love, horse lovers!

lolz.

more to the point:

chalfant.

was that whistle-heavy post just to hack the ads?

mwah!

When I get a puppy.

When I get a puppy I'm going to whistle to it. I'm going to create a whistle language for the puppy - high pitches associated with energy and low pitches associated with restraint - distinct short melodies will serve as commands and praises. I will condition it to loooove my whistling and respect my TONE! When my dog disobeys me, I will look like a whistling jackass. SO BE IT!

Heh

Also, why is UPI reporting a story about a stoner who used a page from the bible to roll a joint? Has no one in at UPI ever seen a bible-page? They are made to be smoked.

Also: AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com is really doin' it for me. High quality stuff all around.

chow yun cat

Kids, listen to me:

Adderall is perfect.

All I will say is

Bloody jogger nipples

Meredith will love this

Bored bored bored.

loltrees

Y'all prolly seendis

I'm gonna call it right now

If humanity ever becomes a truly spacefaring species, it will do so in wooden ships.

High-Rise Syndrome

According to a 1987 study called "High-rise syndrome in cats," a cat which fall from a height of 2-6 stories is more likely to die than a cat which falls from a height higher than 6 stories. There are two theories - one is that after the cat rights itself, it relaxes and prepares for death, turning it's body sideways, increasing drag and loosening up for the impact . The other theory is that the pool of evidence (more short-fall cats going to the vet than long-fall cats) is biased because no one brings their pancaked cat to the vet after it falls 30 stories and dies. Still....I could believe it.

Dude

I'm looking into ordering a Russian mail-order bride on Volga Girl. This shit is awesome. Through their website, you can buy girls gifts to be hand delivered by Russian couriers, like tickets to hockey games, alcohol, prepaid taxi passes, jigsaw puzzles etc....AND - get this - you can order pictures of your potential bride-to-be receiving your gifts! Let's get someone a ticket to a hockey game. This girl looks pretty cute, but if she wants to marry us, I've got dibs.

Check out how happy these dudes are.

racism

Darth Obama

...and we love you, chalf