Sunday, May 31, 2009

I am Buddha?

maybe I'm behind the times but...
In an attempt to explain the "climb the mountain" experience to a friend I googled the phrases "climb the mountain" "jim hanson"

hit number one is "poetry of the dharma" which is a collection of historic buddhist poetry as well as reader contributions. One reader contribution is:

I am Buddha?
by Jim Hanson

When nothing, I am Buddha
When Buddha, I am something
When something, I am not Buddha
When not Buddha, I am nothing.

I am not nothing
I am not something
I am not Buddha.

I am not
Buddha is.

Buddha is I
Buddha is something
Buddha is nothing.

When not nothing, I am Buddha
When Buddha, I am not something
When not something, I am not Buddha
When not Buddha, I am something.




what's going on here?

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Thursday, May 28, 2009

Friday, May 22, 2009

meh

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Thursday, May 21, 2009

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Wednesday, May 20, 2009

The fuck are these ads?

Make these fucking ads go away or write me a check.

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fuck camping

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Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Saturday, May 16, 2009

heh

I think I missed out on this piano playing cat thing. How long has this been around?

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Thursday, May 14, 2009

and with this!!!



that autoplaying dog butt shaking monstrosity is vanquished.

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Whidbey and the Chinese

Chinese people lived on Whidbey Island once! they even owned land!!

That is until 1891 when "parties unknown" (here's a hint, they were white) blew up two pits of potatoes from parcels belonging to the Chinese. Nothing says I hate you people like blowing up their potatoes. Whidbey landowners get together shortly thereafter and decree: any man that rents or sells land to an oriental will be tarred and feathered!

So the Chinese pack up and leave never to be heard from again.

until a small incident from 2001 that you may remember involving the following:

1.


2.












3.






















4.









Results?

1. We get our plane and people back, the Chinese get nothing but 34,000 dollars and a letter saying we're sorry. we said sorry twice though.

2. Still not a lot of Chinese about.

3. Tom Delay gets in on the alliteration game, finally. "Tom DeLay, described the episode as "communist piracy" and Chinese demands for compensation as "the deluded daydreams of a despotic regime""

They should have just blown up our fucking potatoes man.

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“Generally speaking in life, you don’t want to poke a stick in the eye of a hyena,” elaborates Democratic strategist Chris Lehane. “And a corollary of that is that you don’t want to poke a stick in the eye of a spouse you’re separating from.”

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Today

Today I Die

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Wednesday, May 13, 2009




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Maylor's Pt. 3

So the original burial ground was not the spit. It was the location of those homes in the satellite picture, or where the Maylor farm was. Haley, from generation three of the Maylor's goes to plow some ground and keeps plowing up human remains. Here's his response.

Ready?

"Haley said for a long time he put the skulls on a fence. He also ploughed out elk horns and the remains of bear and wolves." When describing the Canadian geese being careless "We only shot one when we wanted one to eat...we killed deer the same way. In any 30 minutes I could bag a deer." He also tells a story about an Indian named Pike that tried to cross from the spit to town once....but he drowned. of course he was probably drunk, eh? So generation one of the maylor's goes out to retrieve Pike's body. "...and for a long time Haley kept the hook his grandfather used to fish the body from the bay."

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Barrington Story Pt. 3

So the man himself, Cpt. Edward Barrington lived between what is now downtown oak harbor--pioneer way, and city beach. I'm thinking water treatment plant, just saying. anyways, here's the story of Barrington and Big Billy, a local indian.

Ready?

Big Billy is over six feet tall. He's kind of a bully. Big Bully Billy bumps into Big, Burly, b'Irish Barrington Butchering on the Beach (I shit you not). Barrington asks Billy to hand him his "gam-stick" to which Billy bellicosely replies that he is now the boss, and that barrington's brief stint as boss was about to break. Barrington picks up the gam stick, blows billy down, grabs him by the hair and launches him over the bank off the beach. A stunned onlooker asks Barrington if he killed Billy, Barrington says yes "That was the intention" as he began butchering again.

Four days later Billy apologized to Barrington.

--Paraphrase of Dorothy Neil's un-cited story

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Maylor's Pt. 2

Yesterday:










Today:

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Maylor's Pt.

The Maylor bunch is an old pioneer family in Oak Town. Couple of brothers had some a big ol' donation claim to the area that is now the seaplane base and the officer housing on get this, Maylor's Point. It used to be a super fertile farmland with a marsh and a lush forest. When the Skagit lived there they hunted the forest and fished and crabbed off the Eastern side. On the Western side, where the marsh currently sits there was a big long sand spit called crooked spit. This is where the Skagit buried their dead. Oak Harbor "pioneer" children talk about finding beads, arrowtips and other Indian artifacts on the beach, some still have them.

The Japanese bomb Hawaii, 15 months later the US Navy buys the farm (bah dum pish) and builds itself a runway. They look out across the harbor and see this spit, they look a little left and see a hill. They think "hey, what if we take that hill, fill in that spit and build another runway?!" The town is all "ummm...there's some dead indians there...y'know." so the navy goes to some Skagit people and is all "you've got until X to clear the remains out of there." The Skagit come out and get everything they can find.

The navy starts the project and finds out, nope, can't do it. so they half fill in the spit, create a big ol' marsh. Seventies come, they build a trail around the marsh and tout their enviro cred.

you may or may not be able to find beads there today.

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Barrington Story Pt. 2

So a little after barrington does his dance from the devil some white people kill some Haida somewhere on not Whidbey Island. The Haida respond by going after this dude Kellogg who lives on Whidbey Island. Makes some sense, he generally hires Indians to paddle canoes for him (travelling doctor and all) but outside that doesn't take too kindly to the "red savage" as later Kelloggs would recall him saying. Unfortunately for the Haida, and fortunately for racist historians, Kellogg was out of town curing some white person (undoubtedly spreading disease as he went, but w/e) so the Haida hide for awhile. having hid for half a week the Haida abandon the plan and instead kill this Colonel named Ebey. They shoot him in the head, but just to be sure, cut it off anyway.

Presumably Barrington wasn't around. Or maybe he kept the skull stick. who knows.

Results:
1. Ebey is forever remembered as a "martyr" for the island despite his having little do with the place outside the farm. He was more like the living incarnation of the state in those parts, regulating white people.

2. Racist dr. Kellogg gets to write in medical journals about how much he hates indians. Future generations of Kelloggs would take up this mantle and record indian hating histories of the Haida and others.

3. A really pretty state park bears his name and records forever the imposition of white folks.

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Barrington Story

The Haida from Vancouver island made it a regular practice to raid the Skagit of Whidbey Island in a sort of viking like, arrive, terrorize, pillage, leave, repeat sort of fashion. One such trip, after white settlement sees a small skagit girl run up to this guy Barrington from Oak Harbor crying in fear. Barrington being a big burly b'Irish badass rips off his shirt displaying his red hairs like thousands of ICBM's or little "do not fuck with this" flags.

Ready?

1. He storms the beach the Haida have landed on and grabs a stick from the shore.

2. He smashes a Skagit burial canoe spilling some decaying remains out onto everyone's feet.

3. He affixes the skull to said stick and starts to wave it into the faces of the horrified Haida.

4. He shakes his copper follicles and irish buns to the best of his ability as the Haida scream "devil! devil!" and eventually run off. They accomplish little outside of being stereotyped by religion.

Results:
1. He writes this story about himself with no witnesses attesting to its truth.

2. The Haida never return.

3. The Skagit thank him and work for him. Until he works to remove them from the island accomplished with the Pt. Eliott treaty.

4. Barrington drive in Oak Harbor houses the town hall, police station, news paper, power company, post office, political offices, a couple of churches and of course the all important Wal mart, Safeway, DQ, and movie theater.

Where would be without him!?!

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whidbey joke

An Alaskan, a Texan and a Whidbey Islander and comparing (among other things) the local weather.

Alaskan says to the Texan: "Doesn't it get really hot down there?"
Texan replies: "yeah, but it's a dry heat so we don't mind. doesn't it get really cold up there?"
Alaskan replies: "yeah, but it's a dry cold so we don't mind. What about whidbey island? doesn't it rain all the time?"
Texan: "yeah! doesn't it!?"
Whidbey Islander: "yeah, but it's a dry rain so we don't mind."

--Dorothy Neil

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Tuesday, May 12, 2009

this summer's biggest blockbuster

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NES <3

http://www.tallmansmallman.com/Alex/Hip-Hop%20Medley.mp3

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Dick. In. Ass.


hehe

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Monday, May 11, 2009

I love this

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photoshop challenge


sir walter rally.

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Sunday, May 10, 2009

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doy

sdlkfjlskdjflkshddgtjh

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I'm down

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Friday, May 8, 2009

Thursday, May 7, 2009

cool

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I know these might be old

but at least we got rid of that damn "booty" shaking dog.

First of all, have a mean kangaroo

Second of all, have a Chalf classic now in 18 rows, with with zoom in/out, panning and tracking

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Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

also

that autoplaying video down there is starting to piss me off. yes, the puppy shakes its butt. I know.

I call for a moratorium on auto-playing videos.

but not auto-tuning videos, keep those coming.

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Monday, May 4, 2009

LeBron James, NBA MVP, Boy Toy

At 24 years, 106 days on the final day of the regular season, James is the youngest player to win the award since Moses Malone (24 years, 16 days) in 1978-79. Wes Unseld was 23 when he won it in 1968-69.

"I'm 24 years old. To be up here and win this MVP award, I never thought it would happen this fast. I always dreamed about celebrating championships with teammates," James said.

"It takes a lot of sweat," said Cleveland general manager Danny Ferry. "I'm sure he did a lot of sweating right here. I've been fortunate enough to watch him sweat the past four years when no one else was around. I just want to acknowledge that and give it a round of applause."

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stupid

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meredith will love this

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Sunday, May 3, 2009

galen philips

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no fatties


EMBED-Fat Kid Can't Make Jump - Watch more free videos

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feminism just isn't funny

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MAO SHOT

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Friday, May 1, 2009

obama checking out monsters v aliens



GET OFF YOUR ASS MOTHERFUCKER

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i know i'm clogging the blogging but....c'mon

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and i'll whisper....no / and i'll whisper....homo

i don't know why i'm suprised at this

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