For Chalf:

Cat

http://poststuff.entensity.net/033009/flash.php?media=cat.flv

owls are fukt

Politics

Also: Biden's daughter is a coke-fiend!

Thad showed me this

I love this cat

From b3ta---Japanese Blackface

Little Red Riding. Hood.

Slagsmålsklubben - Sponsored by destiny from Tomas Nilsson on Vimeo.

BUTTROSS!

Spent the day driving around Austin, TX with Ross and drove by a massive billboard that had this website's URL in large Helvetica letters.

Updated: Here it is. Straus caught it with Iphone.

It's too damn hot for a penguin to be just walkin' around here.

http://fuckyoupenguin.blogspot.com/

I swear this wasn't my doing.

A man with specific tastes

y'all is bitches

my classes are done. bank account stacked. room is cleaned. rent is paid. pantry is full. gas tank is full. more money on the way. job interview on the way. I gotz plans, bitches.

at the heart of the matter: this is the first spring break I will have experienced since I started high school and god damn is it going to be good.

have fun in butt fuck idaho bitches!!!

....................../´¯/)
....................,/¯../
.................../..../
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(
..............\.............\...

Sesame st.

A dog recently gave birth to this DEMON

Also, does anyone else think it's weird that the agricultural term for non-ambulatory cattle is "downer cows?" It's like they crawl into parties and spoil everyone's fun. "That cow is a real downer."

St. Patty's on the ave

so I'm pretty used to seeing people driving, parking, and pulling out drunk by now. but today is st. patty's day, and I live by two irish bars. I just watched a couple park their bug literally 6 ft. from the curb. no joke.

there are two cars parked with their headlights on at the viking bar.

one car parked with its right turn signal on a few feet away.

there was a near collision when someone didn't look as they almost pulled out into a bus. that's right, they missed a bus coming right at them.

the people smoking outside the bars have created a pass time of yelling at drivers as they park. things like "ok, you got a couple feet, keep coming, keep coming. FUCK! STOP STOP STOP!! FUCK!" or "what makes you think you can park there? you're going to jail motherfucker! get ready for the showers fucker!"

makes no sense.

giggle

Les animaux sont bêtes...
Uploaded by kedublabla

pssshhhh

I could use a drink.





wtf?

oh shiR~!

I'm drunk..

I just ditched the U police.

the song 'mo fire' by lil'wayne is tehs shit!

perfect for wipes

Watch Bedside Gun Rack and more funny videos on CollegeHumor

Team Freedom Beats Back Bush Legacy

From politico:

"The president’s advisers are still chewing over what topics to emphasize. Iraq is unlikely to be one of them. Advisers say they have made a specific decision to leave that verdict to history and not try to defend it at a time when Iraq could still wind up as either a democracy or a disaster.

One of the original ideas was to emphasize the president’s so-called “freedom agenda” of democracy for the Middle East, and there was even talk of calling it The Freedom Institute.

That name -- never finalized --was scrapped, in part because many people immediately associated the name with the Middle East, and the institute will have a much broader focus. And lots of other organizations already use “freedom” in their titles; the Bush planners wanted to avoid being confused with them. "

I hate Heavy, but

Joaquin Phoenix is at it again

NERDALERT!

Wookieepedia: clever, but painfully nerdy.

also, i need mike to explain this:

Tuesday, March 11, 2003

//
// Stationery for AP classes
// 031398 -- RGrehan, Metrowerks, Inc.

// Includes
#include "apvector.h"
#include "apqueue.h"
#include "apstack.h"
#include "apstring.h"
#include "apmatrix.h"

// Define objects
apvector intVector; // Integer vector
apqueue intQueue; // Integer queue
apstack intStack; // Integer stack
apstring myString; // String
apmatrix intMatrix(5,5,3); // Integer matrix
void Insertion (apvector, int &, int &);
void print_values (apvector);
void Selection (apvector , int &, int &);

int main()
{
apvector A(5);
A[0] = 5;
A[1] = 4;
A[2] = 3;
A[3] = 2;
A[4] = 1;

int comparison_count = 0;
int switch_count = 0;

Insertion(A, comparison_count, switch_count);

int insertion_comp_count = comparison_count;
int insertion_switch_count = switch_count;
comparison_count = 0;
switch_count = 0;

Selection(A, comparison_count, switch_count);

}

void Insertion (apvector arr, int & comparison_count, int & switch_count)
{
cout << "******* INSERTION SORT ********";
cout << endl;
cout << "THE ARRAY NOW APPEARS : ";
print_values(arr);
cout << endl;
int i, j;
int temp;
for ( i = 1; i < arr.length(); i++ )
{
temp = arr[i];
j = i;
while ( j > 0 && temp < arr[j-1] )
{
cout << temp;
cout << " is compared with ";
cout << arr[j-1];
comparison_count++;
cout << endl;
arr[j] = arr[j-1];
j--;
}
cout << arr[j];
cout << " is switched with ";
cout << temp;
cout << endl;

arr[j] = temp;
switch_count++;

}
cout << "Total Comparisons : ";
cout << comparison_count;
cout << endl;
cout << "Total Switchs : ";
cout << switch_count;
cout << endl;
cout << "THE ARRAY NOW APPEARS : ";
print_values(arr);
cout << endl;
}

void Selection(apvector a, int & comparisoncount, int & switchcount)

// Sort a[0], ..., a[size-1] in ascending order.

{
cout << endl;
cout << "SELECTION SORT : ";
cout << endl;
int i, iMax, n;
double aTemp;
int size = a.length();

for (n = size; n >= 2; n--) {
// Find the index "iMax" of the largest element
// among a[0], ..., a[n-1]:

iMax = 0;
for (i = 1; i < n -1 ; i++)
cout << a[i];
cout << " is compared with ";
cout << a[iMax];
cout << endl;
if (a[i] > a[iMax])
iMax = i;

// Swap a[iMax] with a[n-1]:
cout << a[n - 1];
cout << " is switched with ";
cout << a[iMax];
cout << endl;
aTemp = a[iMax]; // Save a[iMax] in a temporary location.
a[iMax] = a[n-1]; // Copy a[n-1] to a[iMax].
a[n-1] = aTemp; // Copy saved value to a[n-1].
//print_values(a);
//cout << endl;
// Decrement n (accomplished by n-- in the "for" loop).
}
print_values(a);
cout << endl;
switchcount = size - 1;
comparisoncount = (size / 2)*(size - 1);

cout << "Total Comparisons : ";
cout << comparisoncount;
cout << endl;

cout << "Total Switches : " ;
cout << switchcount;
cout << endl;
}




void print_values (apvector A)
{
for(int i = 0; i < A.length(); i++)
cout << A[i];
}

- Mike, 6:47 AM

Monday, March 10, 2003

//
// Stationery for AP classes
// 031398 -- RGrehan, Metrowerks, Inc.

// Includes
#include "apvector.h"
#include "apqueue.h"
#include "apstack.h"
#include "apstring.h"
#include "apmatrix.h"
#include "fstream.h"
// Define objects
apvector intVector; // Integer vector
apqueue intQueue; // Integer queue
apstack intStack; // Integer stack
apstring myString; // String
apmatrix intMatrix(5,5,3); // Integer matrix
//void insertionsort (apvector, int &, int &);
void changearray (/*apvector, int, int, int*/void);
void print_values (apvector);
int NUMBER = 0;
void sel_sort (apvector , int &, int &);
void BubbleSort (apvector, int &, int &);
void Insertion (apvector, int &, int&);

void shortcircuit (apvector v, int & comparisoncount, int & switchcount);

int main()
{
fstream I;
fstream J;
fstream f1;
apvector a (5);

f1.open("numbers.txt", ios :: app);



a[4] = 4;
a[3] = 3;
a[2] = 2;
a[1] = 5;
a[0] = 1;
char choice = 'n';
int switchcount = 0;
int comparisoncount = 0;
//insertionsort(a,comparisoncount,switchcount);
cout << "WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE THE INSERTION SORT? (Y/N) :";
cin >> choice;
if (choice == 'Y')
{
sel_sort(a, comparisoncount, switchcount);
int sel_switch = switchcount;
int sel_compare = comparisoncount;
switchcount = 0;
comparisoncount = 0;
}
//BubbleSort(a, comparisoncount, switchcount);
//insertionsort(a,comparisoncount,switchcount);
//int bubbleswitch = switchcount;
//int bubblescompare = comparisoncount;
//switchcount = 0;
//comparisoncount = 0;
choice = 'n';
cout << "WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE THE INSERTION SORT? (Y/N) : ";
cin >> choice;
if(choice == 'Y')
{
Insertion(a, comparisoncount, switchcount);
int insertionswitch = switchcount;
int insertioncompare = comparisoncount;
switchcount = 0;
comparisoncount = 0;
}
choice = 'n';
cout << "WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE THE BUBBLE SORT? (Y/N) : ";
cin >> choice;
if(choice == 'Y')
{
BubbleSort(a, comparisoncount, switchcount);
//insertionsort(a,comparisoncount,switchcount);
int bubbleswitch = switchcount;
int bubblescompare = comparisoncount;
switchcount = 0;
comparisoncount = 0;
}
choice = 'n';
cout << "WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE THE EFFICIENT BUBBLE SORT? (Y/N) :";
cin >> choice;
if(choice == 'Y')
{
shortcircuit(a, comparisoncount, switchcount);
}
}

void insertionsort (apvector A, int & comparisoncount, int & switchcount)
{
cout << endl;
cout << "INSERTION SORT : ";
cout << endl;
int temp;
//int switchcount = 0;
int counter2 = 0;
int counter = 0;
int i = 1;
//int comparisoncount = 0;
int len = A.length();
for(int i = 1; i <= len-1; i++)
{
//if(i == 1)
//{
//cout << " (th)(rd)(st)(nd)";
print_values(A);
cout << endl;
//}
counter++;
switchcount++;

for(int j = i - 1; j >= 0; j--)
{
if(A[i] < A[j])
{
temp = A[i];

while (i > j)
{
A[i] = A[i -1];
comparisoncount++;
changearray();
i--;

}
A[j] = temp;


}


}



}
cout << "THE NUMBER OF SWITCHES WAS : ";
cout << switchcount;
cout << endl;
cout << "THE NUMBER OF COMPARISONS WAS : ";
cout << comparisoncount;
cout << endl;
//i++;

}




void changearray (apvector A,int i,int j,int tem)
{
NUMBER++;
//while(i > j)
// A[i - 1] = A[i];
//A[j] = temp;
//print_values(A);
}

void print_values (apvector A)
{
for(int i = 0; i < A.length(); i++)
cout << A[i];
}


void sel_sort(apvector a, int & comparisoncount, int & switchcount)

// Sort a[0], ..., a[size-1] in ascending order.

{
cout << endl;
cout << "SELECTION SORT : ";
cout << endl;
int i, iMax, n;
double aTemp;
int size = a.length();

for (n = size; n >= 2; n--) {
print_values(a);
cout << endl;
// Find the index "iMax" of the largest element
// among a[0], ..., a[n-1]:

iMax = 0;
for (i = 1; i < n; i++)
if (a[i] > a[iMax])
iMax = i;

// Swap a[iMax] with a[n-1]:

aTemp = a[iMax]; // Save a[iMax] in a temporary location.
a[iMax] = a[n-1]; // Copy a[n-1] to a[iMax].
a[n-1] = aTemp; // Copy saved value to a[n-1].
//print_values(a);
//cout << endl;
// Decrement n (accomplished by n-- in the "for" loop).
}
print_values(a);
cout << endl;
switchcount = size - 1;
comparisoncount = (size / 2)*(size - 1);
cout << "THE NUMBER OF SWITCHES WAS : " ;
cout << switchcount;
cout << endl;
cout << "THE NUMBER OF COMPARISONS WAS : ";
cout << comparisoncount;
cout << endl;
}

//****************************************************************
//*********** Bubble sort **************
//****************************************************************

void BubbleSort (apvector v, int & comparisoncount, int & switchcount)
{ cout << endl;
cout << "THE BUBBLE SORT : ";
cout << endl;
int i, n = v.length(), temp;
print_values(v);
cout << endl;
while (n > 1)
{
for (i = 1; i < n; i++)
{
if (v[i - 1] > v[i]) // if left side is greater than right side
{
temp = v[i];
v[i] = v[i-1];
v[i-1] = temp;
switchcount++;
print_values(v);
cout << endl;
}
}
n--;
}
comparisoncount = (((v.length() * v.length()) - v.length()) / 2);
cout << "THE NUMBER OF COMPARISONS WAS : ";
cout << comparisoncount;
cout << endl;
cout << "THE NUMBER OF SWITCHES WAS : ";
cout << switchcount;
cout << endl;
}



void Insertion (apvector arr, int & comparisoncount, int & switchcount)
{
int i, j;
int temp;
cout << endl;
cout << "INSERTION SORT : ";
cout << endl;
print_values(arr);
cout << endl;
for ( i = 1; i < arr.length(); i++ ) {
temp = arr[i];
j = i;
comparisoncount++;
while ( j > 0 && temp < arr[j-1] ) {
arr[j] = arr[j-1];
//print_values(arr);
//cout << endl;
switchcount++;
j--;
if ( j > 0 )
comparisoncount++;
}
arr[j] = temp;
switchcount++;
print_values(arr);
cout << endl;
}
cout << "THE NUMBER OF COMPARISONS WAS : ";
cout << comparisoncount;
cout << endl;
cout << "THE NUMBER OF SWITCHES WAS : ";
cout << switchcount;
cout << endl;
}


//****************************************************************
//*********** short circuiting sort **************
//****************************************************************

void shortcircuit (apvector v, int & comparisoncount, int & switchcount)
{ cout << endl;
cout << "THE MORE EFFIECENT BUBBLE SORT : ";
cout << endl;
int i, n = v.length(), temp;
int switchcount2;
print_values(v);
cout << endl;
while (n > 1)
{
for (i = 1; i < n; i++)
{
switchcount2 = switchcount;
if (v[i - 1] > v[i]) // if left side is greater than right side
{
temp = v[i];
v[i] = v[i-1];
v[i-1] = temp;
switchcount++;
print_values(v);
cout << endl;
if(switchcount2 == switchcount)
n = 1;
}
}
n--;
}
comparisoncount = (((v.length() * v.length()) - v.length()) / 2);
cout << "THE NUMBER OF COMPARISONS WAS : ";
cout << comparisoncount;
cout << endl;
cout << "THE NUMBER OF SWITCHES WAS : ";
cout << switchcount;
cout << endl;
}

everyday that I go the ave

I end up doing something uncharacteristic and foolish or brazen.

I get home and think first: good for me! then second: wtf?

more piss

the uroclub

http://www.hiddenninjagames.com/flash-arcade-game.php?gameid=250&gamename=Music%20Catch%202

asian fish: Not Wanting to Be Left Behind since 1986

asian people - proving once again they're fucked up

toilet restaurant

I always end up on Goatsilk

http://www.goatsilk.com/Silkblog/2008/08/03/the-wages-of-glory/

The piss connection adventure #2

I'm currently trapped in an ongoing repetition of urine in my day to day life. I'm not talking about me peeing on a daily basis. I'm talking about urine reappearing constantly for the last week. It's more than coincidence at this point, it's like I'm surrounded by piss.

Last friday:
In a class designed to introduce my department's profs. to new majors, I learned that the diet in Iceland was so restricted that Vikings had to perfect eating a certain shark. Sharks have no liver, so the meat literally marinates in shark piss its entire existence. To get around this, Vikings buried the shark meat for several months, allowing it to decay into a gelatinous substance. This got rid of the uric acid, but also meant that they lived off rotting shark tissue. Side note: this is still eaten today, you drink it with a "disgusting liquor whose name translated into english is 'the black death'"

wednesday:
I agree to help a friend, call him Anonymous Stranger, get out of a potential drug screening. AS and I both look into urine test supplies, including the science of urine, it's typical composition. I already knew about uric acid.

I also attend a meeting of the UW's parli team and end up judging a practice debate. This debate features three relations disads, the most common verb to describe the link being "piss off X." christi lectures them on their rhetorical focus on piss calling it unappealing. She informs us that urophilia is a preoccupation with urine.

Thursday:
Using my day off and proximity to a large head shop I go for some anti-drug test supplies. The result of this trip is a bottle of fake urine, which one microwaves, rubberbands a thermal heating pack to, hides in their pants, whips out in the bathroom and empties into the cup. On the trip I learned that only when being tested for parole is one watched when peeing. These supplies are legal under the auspices of "keeping your medical history private" and can also hide: pregnancy, tobacco and diabetes.

I also learned that you can eliminate fat content from your urine by not eating the day of the test and drinking about two gallons of water. You can darken your urine by taking vitamin B-12. Finally, fruit pectin temporarily seals up fat cells and blocks the release of chemicals into the urine.

I take the bus to my friend's house. behind the dumpster next to the bus stop, a drunk man is peeing facing me.

That night I wound up facebook chatting with a girl I sort of dated in high school, with whom I haven't spoken substantively in years. her first question: "what did you do today?" my response: "well...I...." then explain the above story, her response several minutes later: "I guess you were always doing weird stuff like that"

Friday:
my friend is not tested. He does, however, experience some burning sensation from the presence of 2 ounces of 100 degree fake urine strapped to his 'taint. the result being "next time, I need better insulation."

In the same intro to the profs class, I endure a 20 minute discussion about D&G and urine and bodily flows.

I finish season five and start season six of Trailer Park Boys. A recurring gag is the presence of massive quantities of piss jugs, gallon jugs filled with piss courtesy of a main character. Each episode so far has had a character throw a jug into the air letting it explode disgustingly on the ground. I believe there to be around 60 gallons of piss shown at this point.

Craig's list adventure #1

One week ago a home 4 blocks from my apt. had a cord of wood they were giving away in their front yard. Using the sensible capitalist logic I so frequently employ, I drive my truck over, take it, and promptly post an ad on craig's list. Yesterday morning I have an email waiting for me from a "Jeff" who is willing to buy the wood. We exchange information, I agree to drive to him the next day. I had a 1/2 a cord and we agreed to deal around 50 bucks.

Sounds good right?

So today I do it, I go out there and meet him. First of all, he calls me two hours late. whatever, money's on the line. he lives in shitville suburbia: south lynnwood right off the I-5. he's big. 6 feet 3. 200 pounds for sure. and he's old. he's grey headed, thick glasses, droopy-wrinkly cheeks. he doesn't say hello, he answers the door in his robe and says "you made it? let me get dressed."

10 minutes later he appears from behind the house, where I can't see him walk up. he's wearing leather gloves and offers to help me, we start with the heaviest piece of wood which we both carry.

He lays it on the line early, the opening shot:
"I'm relieved to be dealing with white people. You know, you said Seattle and I was afraid I was dealing with some mexican or pakistani and you know you can't get good deals with those people you have to play tight with them they try and peel cash off you."

We're 18 inches apart, he's towering over me. We put the wood down, this is the last time he helps with the wood. I'm not wearing gloves. He does not offer his gloves to me, despite not helping. He doesn't go inside. He follows me on each of my twelve trips back and forth to my truck lecturing me. He keeps his hands on his hips and repeatedly makes me pause in between my trips to orate, here are some gems:

on my being a student: "I've got to be honest with you, I just don't think very highly of education. I'm a practical man, I don't want to belittle the jews, but I have an almost jewish sixth sense about the world. I'm a strategist, and that's something they can't teach."

on race: "being white today isn't like it used to be. you have to be careful, you have to look out. I told a young white girl the other day at the burger king I said 'you know you having this job means you're stealing some illegal immigrant's job' I went back there a week later and she wasn't there. Guess she got the message right? Young kid like you probably couldn't get a fast food job if you wanted they all go the mexicans and you know they're not gonna hire a white kid."

"A lot of what I have to say will get people at the U pretty angry I suppose, but you know this is what I tell 'em: 'just because I have a preference for white people doesn't mean I dislike the mexicans or asians, I don't hate them, but nobody sees."

"The white race today is just so degenerate, and it's not just the drugs, or the gangs, or the economy. Just degeneracy."

"I'm like an asian, I only deal in cash."

on my dad being a marine: "Not to speak ill of his service, but I'm anti-marine. They're there to be slaughtered and killed. It's just stupid, they're the first ones out, it's like they're sacrifices. I just don't see any sense in being a marine. Who does it appeal to? Poor southeners, poor white kids, this is the degeneracy I'm talking about."

He's retired army.

on the economy: "None of them, the politicians are brave enough to just come out and tell us. It's in a nose dive, there's nothing we can do. It's all going to fall apart. and next year it'll be three times as bad, in two years it'll be twice as bad again! and you know what it is? It's all the congress people, now I mean senators AND representatives, getting elected, and making millions with all their insider trading just like Martha Stewart did."

This man is also a full time accountant. An accountant willing to accept firewood and cars as payment under the table.

He gave me three business cards and says that referral fees are "standard policy for me." His business cards are microsoft wordpad-typed address on printer paper, scotch taped to casino reject playing cards.

He insists I have 1/3 a cord and wants to pay thirty. He is wrong, I have 1/2 a cord and get him to pay $40. I just want out of there. Before I can go, he briefly reiterates all his views about strategy and his jewish thinking "i'm not a jew though, obviously, I get along with them great though." these sorts of things.

He closes strong. "uh...so one thing I have been looking for are some old .22's or some rifles. I went to some gun shows and shops but i didn't like it. first of all, it's way too expensive, now I'll pay you reasonably but I don't want to pay too much. but it's mostly all the paperwork. The filing, the bureacracy, the red tape, I'd rather not go through with all of that. I'd rather deal one-on-one with someone I think I can trust."

I drove away listening to The Game. As soon as I get home I get in touch with my asian tennis partner and arrange for a few matches with the racist money I had just received.

degeneracy.

bitter loneliness

Re:Chalfant

http://pvspade.com/Sartre/cookbook.html